My First Piece on Huffington Post: Shameless Self-Promotion

Please allow me this bit of shameless self-promotion.

After my Demi Moore piece was picked up by the Huffington Post Divorce section, I was officially inivited to become a blogger for HuffPo Divorce. This was a thrill, since trying to elbow one’s way into that section is a little like trying to get an invite to a White House dinner.

My first piece ran on Saturday, got upwards of 1500 comments, and made it onto the AOL home page. The piece was on why I gave up custody of my son, so many of the comments were brutal, but the good news is so far, I have received no death threats!

Check it out, if you’re so inclined.


About perilsofdivorcedpauline

I am a survivor of a world-class gnarly divorce. My dastardly ex-husband is suing me for full custody of my son, and more time with my daughter. He’s super-rich and I’m super-not. You get the picture.
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11 Responses to My First Piece on Huffington Post: Shameless Self-Promotion

  1. Lori Day says:

    Promote away! You clearly touched a nerve for some people, and really tapped into the zeitgeist on divorce in this country. Not at all surprised how many people weighed in, and on both sides. I was most impressed with your courage putting your story out there, knowing there would be supporters and haters. Life is complex, isn’t it? proud of you!

  2. Nothing wrong with “Shameless” self-promotion. Wait, isn’t that what I said to Pamela Madsen? (joke: she wrote a book called Shameless)

    Good stuff, Pauline. I’m reading. But now, in several places. 🙂

  3. Nothing wrong with doing this, hon! If not you, then who? Congrats again! Like WB, I’ll be reading you in several places now. 🙂

  4. The subject of moms who have children who live anyplace other than with them is always a touchy one. My ex-husband and I got divorced, and then made the colossal mistake of trying to make another go of things (you know, because they didn’t suck enough the first time around!). To make a very long story short, it didn’t work out. Shocking, I know. But our two kids had been moved around, and uprooted so many times, that we decided together that it made more sense for them to live with their dad- he was staying and I was going (literally across town, so not all that far). He and I had a really good relationship, so it isn’t as though I was doing an “every other weekend and Wednesday nights” sort of thing, I saw the kids literally every day. But the reaction of my family over my kids and I having different addresses was unreal. I’ll never forget the day my grandmother called me at work to tell me that “mothers don’t abandon their children”. No matter how many ways I tried to explain that I was trying to do what was best for them it wasn’t sinking in. I have both kids full-time now, but I’ve never really gotten over how harshly I was judged during that period in my life. So when you say you were doing what you thought was best for your son, I absolutely know where you’re coming from.

  5. Pennie Heath says:

    I wanted to come back and tell you Pauline, that I am an LCSW and had a horrendous case that I worked on once in my 14 years doing clinical work at a pediatric oncology hospital. The dad was an attorney and he hated the mom to such an extent, beating her down with repetitive emotional blows, until she finally gave him custody of their son. Now, of course it was never about him wanting to be the primary caregiver of the boy, it was about him beating her and causing her pain. So, when he had the boy he still wasn’t happy. And then the child was diagnosed at 8 with Leukemia and came to us. The dad had full primary custody and full decision making and wanted the door barred to the mother. Still so much anger that man had. He was remarried to a much younger, but nice, woman. So finally she petitioned the court and they granted her visitation at the hospital, but it had to be supervised. The child requested I do it. I was shocked because this was not a child I was particularly close to but I guess he felt like I was safe in a storm. The father had told all of us how the child didn’t want to see the mother, how the mother had mistreated him and the boy hated her; when she came in it was clear that it couldn’t have been further from the truth and that the dad just hammered the kid at every opportunity with how his mother hated him and abandoned him. When she came in my office he threw himself on her and they had the sweetest visit. He was so happy. As soon as that hour was up the dad was standing at my door banging, grabbed the child by the arm and pulled him out. He came to my office later and said that the boy wanted to talk to me. The child said, “I never want to see my mother again”. Clearly the dad had done a major job on him.

    Long story short, (TOO LATE), I ended up getting supoened to court because the child was dying and the mom wanted free visitation. The dad came to my office a few days before the court date and told me he expected me to do the RIGHT thing. I warned him not to do it that I would not be a good witness for him. He threatened me in my office, with his power and his ‘friends in the city’ that could find out where I lived. The hospital wrote him a letter saying that any attempt to contact me would be seen as hostile and he would lose his ability to be on the St Jude campus. I went to court, cried on the stand, I couldn’t help it it was just a tragic thing with this dad being this way about a little boy who was dying and really wanted to see his mother, and the Judge ate him a new one. The mom got the visitation. The dad lost it, rarely came up, the step-mom ended up being there for the child but divorced the dad shortly after. She came to see me in my office after the boy died and told me how sorry she was and how awful it had been. I have no idea that if that boy had never gotten cancer that he would be so hardened and angry right now.

    I’ve been reading your blog for over a year, and I just wanted to tell you this to say, that some times it isn’t at all about the child and the other parent doesn’t care (or can’t see) how bad the child hurts. It is hard to see how an adult can put their anger and agenda over the needs of their children. You did not do that. I think that Luca knows how much you love him.

    • Pennie, that story is horrific. Horrific! I suppose it’s some small consolation that the mother got visitation and the husband got left by the second wife who luckily came to her senses. How wonderful that you had something to do with that man’s comeuppance. I hope there is a special, toasty place in hell for him.

  6. Congratulations! You’re a wonderful author. I can say I knew you when.

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