The Dessert Girl


I live in an eccentric neighborhood in a big city, a pocket of Craftsman, Victorian and Mediterranean homes in various stages of restoration. Two centuries ago, the city’s titans hired famed architects to build their mansions, until various forces caused them to move north and west.

A craftsman in my neighborhood, circa 1910

In the 1960s, a new freeway sliced through the neighborhood, crushing property values. Grand homes that featured Bachelder-tiled fireplaces, quartersawn oak wainscot, and stained-glass windows were carved up to house multiple boarders, or worse, turned into crack dens.

Fifteen years ago, the dilapidated, and frankly, dangerous neighborhood made a comeback. Savvy investors, design buffs, and aesthetes with middle-class pocketbooks bought up the decrepit homes and lovingly, painstakingly restored them to their former splendor, and then some.

A restored Craftsman in my neighborhood

Most sections in the area have since been designated Historic Preservation Overlay Zones. Living in an HPOZ means you commit to keeping the architectural elements of your home in tact, or risk being tarred and feathered by members of the neighborhood association. It also means you are eligible for a major reduction in property taxes — one incentive for moving into this still-transitional ‘hood.

Yup, this one is in my neighborhood too

There is something about the neighborhood that speaks to my Southern roots. In a status-conscious city, this little-known jewel offers the best of a bygone era: a “village” mentality where neighbors pitch into re-roof the home of an elderly resident on a fixed income; matrons who organize home-cooked meal deliveries for families afflicted by illness; quirky locals who dress in Victorian garb for the annual ice cream social.

While people who dwell in the more modern, upscale parts of the city might wonder how anyone could live with warped hardwood floors and electrical wires hanging out from walls, those who live in the neighborhood see past the squalor, as if in a perpetual Faulknerian haze, drawn only to vestiges of a glorious, fabled yesteryear: “Are those the original quetzal art-glass shades on that light fixture?”  “Look at your beveled-glass pocket doors!” “These hammered-copper doorknobs are to die for!”

Every year in December the neighborhood Historic Association hosts a fundraiser known as the Progressive Dinner Tour. Old-home enthusiasts pay for the privilege of being looky-loos in some of the grander homes in the neighborhood, eating and drinking their way through residences on the tour.

Tourgoers commence at the “Cocktail House” and several houses later, wind up at the “Dessert House.” By the end of the evening, everyone is in various stages of sloshed-ness and inevitably at least one guest has to be carted home in a taxi.

This year the tour was in my favorite section of the neighborhood, a gated pocket of stunning mansions — Craftsmans, Italianate villas, Georgian Revivals — on broad, tree-lined avenues.

A house in my favorite section of my neighborhood

W.C. Fields, Fatty Arbuckle, art collector Norton Simon, boxer Joe Louis, and legend has it, Ray Charles’s mistress — these were just some of the luminaries who lived in this neighborhood. Oil magnate Walter McGinley hired Paul Williams, one of the first African-American architects in the country, to renovate the staircase in his Regency Revival mansion. McGinley was godfather to Robert F. Kennedy, who was rumored to have trysted with Marilyn Monroe in the McGinley home. On a sadder note, this is where RFK spent the last night of his life.

Where RFK spent his last night

It was this stately enclave that overrode what little common sense I possess, and caused me to nag my husband into buying a 100-year-old Craftsman manse in a more affordable, yet way funkier section close by.

After my apocalyptic divorce, I had been searching for a way to cobble back a sense of security, a foundation, roots to support my completely reconfigured life and now, blended family. The neighborhood seemed like a metaphor for our lives: early on, full of promise; violently cracked open in mid-life; then slowly resurrected, changed, but in some ways better than before.

My far more pragmatic husband would have been perfectly happy living in a generic ranch-style rental, but I wore him down. So now we live in a sprawling house that upon a superficial first look appears grand, but upon closer inspection could only be described as genteel decay. And thanks to our financially devastating divorces and crappy economy, genteel decay is what it will remain.

But, anyway, about the Progressive Dinner Tour. It’s staffed by members of the neighborhood association, who volunteer to prep, serve, decorate, shepherd, and docent. I work the Dinner House, donning black pants and a white blouse to wait tables. Generally, the wait staff serves seven tours, and we usually make it to the third tour before we start tossing back wine in the kitchen.

This year's Dinner House

The Dessert House is staffed by a gaggle of tween and teen girls, who serve up coffee and pass doily-lined trays of confections, this year’s offering being brownies drizzled with salted caramel and whipped cream. Bedecked in their party dresses, the girls clear used plates and cups, and pass fresh desserts to 500 guests. Maybe it’s the ambient gentility and gracious-living floating in the air. Maybe it’s an evening away from texting and YouTube. Whatever the civilizing force is, the girls could not be more polite, mature, or hard-working.

This was my daughter Franny’s second year as a Dessert Girl. At age nine, she was the youngest of her troupe, and was thrilled to be in the company of older girls whose tantalizing footsteps she longs to follow, into Cotillion and admission to the local all-girls’ secondary school.

The Dessert House was astonishingly fabulous, all Moorish archways and muraled walls, with a Mediterranean-tiled pool and fountain in the terraced backyard. When I arrived to collect Franny at the end of the evening, I found her gathering discarded brownie-crumbed dessert plates, her faux-jeweled Octopus ring glinting in the glow of white pillared candles sprinkled around the enormous beamed living room.

“She was delightful, and so hard-working,” said the house captain, who ushered us out the door. I elbowed Franny, who knows the drill about eye contact and a firm handshake. “Thank you! I had the best time!” she replied, in her still little-girl voice.

By the time we drove out the front gates of the square, Franny had conked out in the back seat, her head collapsed towards her shoulder. I gazed at her in the rear-view mirror, a sigh of satisfaction filling my chest.

Amid the rubble of a horrific divorce, the upheaval of a custody battle, both parents’ remarriages, several moves, and a brother gone for who-knows-how-long to an out-of-state therapeutic boarding school, Franny has risen from the ashes like a junior phoenix. Blessed with native resilience and her own unique Franny-ness, she has miraculously emerged gregarious, engaged, funny, loving, generous, and an all-around nice kid.

The Dessert Girl

Franny, I love you. More than you will ever know. More than I can say.

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About perilsofdivorcedpauline

I am a survivor of a world-class gnarly divorce. My dastardly ex-husband is suing me for full custody of my son, and more time with my daughter. He’s super-rich and I’m super-not. You get the picture.
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9 Responses to The Dessert Girl

  1. Wolf Pascoe says:

    They had houses then. Can outsiders come to the annual ice-cream social?

  2. Fabulous piece and great subject! I know that neighborhood well. When I worked in city hall, a good friend had a stunning craftsman and we spent many nights there, drinking good wine and talking politics. Fond memories.

  3. Sarah says:

    I love the lessons about past and present. Great writing as usual.

  4. What a delicious post (pun intended). Rich, textured, interesting – and wonderful examples of the reinvention (renovation) metaphor for many of us.

    xoxo

  5. Barbara says:

    Dearest Darling Pauline, I made the mistake of clicking on your post in OS. If mistake is defined by finding the greatest thing since sliced bread. I can be a bit ocd. Unfortunately not the kind of ocd where my house is always perfectly clean and neat and I always know what I need to do and I’m never late and sometimes I even handle meat and only wipe my hands off and not wash them with antibacterial soap twice while making dinner. It’s the ocd of writers. Once I find something I really like and respond to I have to go back and read everything she/he has ever written including comments. Therefore I have spent my day off in bed reading every blog of yours I could find (including comments). So, my house is a mess, I still don’t have a damn Christmas tree and I really don’t care that I have no idea what’s for dinner. My heart goes out to you. I do believe that if either my ex or I had had the ability to do what you have we would have done the same. Right now I am dealing with a house that is inhabited by my brain traumad best friend who lost her house due to the aforementioned brain trauma, my ex, who has moved back in so that I don’t lose my house, please don’t clap for him, I’m grateful but there’s a reason we divorced, my 21 year old son and his 2 year old midget of which he has 90% custody of, my 18 year old daughter who thankfully lives across town in the dorms at college but of course is home now for her 7 week Christmas break, what the hell is that..7 WEEKS! and my 24 year old Marine will be coming for Christmas too. Don’t know where he’ll sleep but dayum I can’t wait to see him. In fact there was a time years ago that I thought I might lose him much like you feel you could with your son. Not understanding limits and rules. Check. The dreaded phone calls and conferences with schools and counselors. Check. Little brother and sister scared of him. Check. Sense of entitlement. Check. Arrest. Check. Okay, I’ll stop. I could keep going but I bet you get my drift. I have no idea why it slowly turned around but it did. Possibly it was the huge extreme chaos in our lives that was Katrina. I’m not saying that he’s perfect now and when he’s here on leave sometimes it’s like he’s here just one day too long and you can see him revert back a titch. But he has also become more loving and aware too. Maybe it was the complete structure of the Marines. You’ve probably noticed I’m a little lacking in structure (especially when applied to a sentence.) But my Marine has certainly become a good man. I am truly proud of him and hope that I somehow helped him become who he is today. My ex would disagree but like I said, there’s a reason we’re divorced. You daughter sounds much like mine. You are doing a wonderful job, stop second guessing, Prince IS an asshole. I’m sending good thoughts your way.
    Sorry for the long comment, one day I’ll figure out how to message and stuff on here.
    Laissez les bon temps rouler!
    Barbara

    • Barbara, your comment has made my day! I am incredibly flattered that you deferred housework in order to read my blog posts. I’m so glad to hear that your son has matured. I think a lot of kids needs the structure of the military — very similar to the structure provided by residential treatment centers. Hope you have a wonderful holiday. You certainly have a full house!

      • Barbara says:

        Well I must admit it didn’t take much for me to delay the cleaning. Take care and have a great one too. I look forward to your next post. It’s gonna be a little “Charlie Brown Christmas Tree-like here but for the first time in many years no one died on me this year, nothing upended our lives, and most important….who doesn’t love having a 2 year old around on Christmas morning?

  6. mwells says:

    This made me so happy today, a day when things did not go well and I needed to walk away from my girls so their dad wouldn’t keep yelling on school grounds. And embarrassing my own young teen. Your girl sounds delightful and much like her mama.

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